Baby Wars

INTRODUCTION

Good morning! My name is David Sorn, and I’m the Lead Pastor of Renovation Church

We are continuing in our “Life of Jacob” Summer Series this morning

And you’re going to see a bit more chaos from Jacob and his family today

You know…in some ways, Jacob is one of the more relatable people in the Bible.

He’s not parting seas, or bringing dry bones to life, but he sure is committing a lot of sins and causing a lot of chaos.

He’s a good example of how God relates to us (and even uses us), in the midst of our imperfections.

So let’s grab a Bible and start looking at this

Genesis 29:31-35

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If you’re new around here, or you’ve been out and about the past couple weeks this summer, let me catch you up to speed on Jacob

Jacob stole his twin brother Esau’s birthright & blessing, and so he was forced to leave his homeland

…and had to flee to his Uncle Laban’s house way up in modern-day Turkey

And last week, we saw Jacob wait 7 years to marry his crush Rachel, only to be tricked by her father, Laban, into marrying Rachel’s sister Leah instead.

And then, he also marries Rachel, but he was to work 7 more years for Laban to pay off that debt.

We’re going to join the story there, and there is A LOT to talk through and explain in this text.

Think about how different culture in America would’ve been even 100 years ago…

…but this is a culture that is from 4,000 years ago, on the other side of the planet!

So let’s start slowly walking through this

THE BABY WARS

(Genesis 29:31-35) – NIV

31 When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless. 32 Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben,[a] for she said, “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now. 
33 She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon.[b]

34 Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi.[c]. 35 She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So she named him Judah.[d] Then she stopped having children.

(Baby Wars)

Remember, Leah was the wife that Jacob didn’t want.

The great author and pastor Timothy Keller’s most famous sermon is about Leah and this chapter.

It’s called “The Girl Nobody Wanted”

And verse 31 speaks to the God’s heart

Because even if the world doesn’t seem to want you, my friend, God does. And He sees you (like He saw Leah).

So Leah starts out as a pretty innocent in this mess.

But watch how Leah’s heart starts to drift to the wrong place.

Look at verse 32:

She names her first-born, Reuben

We’re going to look at a lot of names today, and after each name, you’ll see a “note marker” in your Bible…a little letter.

And if you follow that letter down to corresponding letter in the footer, you’ll see the meaning behind each name.

So, you’ll see that Reuben means, “See! A son!”

For she said, “Surely my husband will love me now (because “SEE, I gave him a son)”

You can feel her pain.

She has another boy: Simeon

And I want to encourage you to put this chart in your notes, so you can look back on and remember what you learn about in Scripture here every week

If you need a notebook, we have free Renovation Church ones you can pick up at the Welcome Table.

So, Simeon means “one who hears”

Leah is saying that God heard that she wasn’t loved by Jacob

A 3rd boy comes along, and Leah hasn’t changed her faulty mindset yet

This one is named Levi

Which means Attached.

Leah is convinced Jacob will love her and attach himself to primarily her (and not her sister Rachel) now that she has given him 3 sons, and Rachel has produces ZERO children

But when the 4th boy comes along, Judah, Leah seems to be changing her tune a bit

Judah means Praise.

Specifically for “Praise the Lord”

She has stopped naming her children around the relational pain of her heart and is trying to focus on God.

And what’s beautiful is that Jesus, the Messiah, is going to come from this tribe: The Line of Judah

Now, that’s great, but unfortunately, you’re going to see in a bit, that Leah’s change of heart was short-lived

Let’s keep reading

Genesis 30:1-8

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(Genesis 30:1-8) – NIV

When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” 
2 Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?”
3 Then she said, “Here is Bilhah, my servant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and I too can build a family through her.”
4 So she gave him her servant Bilhah as a wife. Jacob slept with her, 5 and she became pregnant and bore him a son. 6 Then Rachel said, “God has vindicated me; he has listened to my plea and given me a son.” Because of this she named him Dan.[e]
7 Rachel’s servant Bilhah conceived again and bore Jacob a second son. 8 Then Rachel said, “I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won.” So she named him Naphtali.[f]

(Baby Wars)

Okay, now we’re getting crazy.

This message is entitled “Baby Wars” for a reason.

So Rachel hasn’t been able to conceive, and it’s quite painful.

But rather than continue to pray, or trust in God’s sovereign plan, she engages in the ancient practice of surrogacy

And she gives her servant as a sort of lower-tier wife to Jacob.

So much so that any children that her servant has with Jacob, are going to become Rachel’s children.

Now, this is awful, but it was fairly commonplace in the ancient world.

In the Code of Hammurabi, which was one of the world’s earliest written law codes (and written around the same time our passage took place), it also says that if a wife’s servant marries her husband, the children will become property of the wife, not the servant.

And this is where knowing HOW to interpret the Bible is very, very important.

How many of you are in our Bible Class “Studying God’s Word” this summer?

How many of you have taken it in the past?

That’s awesome.

One of the things you learn in that class is:

not everything you see in the Bible is something you should replicate.

and not everything you see in the Bible is something God approves of

And you have to KNOW that when you study the genre of narrative like this:

Many stories in the Bible are descriptive of how people lived,

but not prescriptive for how we should live.

God’s original prescription for marriage is stated in the 2nd chapter of the Bible, Genesis 2: That marriage is intended for ONE man and ONE woman.

And every time people in the Bible go beyond that (like Jacob here, or even Solomon later in 1 Kings) it only leads to trouble.

And here we have people going beyond even polygamy (having multiple spouses), but engaging in a form of surrogacy as well.

And why is Rachel doing this?

Well, look at how Rachel names her children she adopts (or steals) through Bilhah

The first is Dan

Which means Vindicated.

Rachel felt God was vindicating her in her endless struggle against her sister

And Rachel named the second son born to Bilhah, Naphtali

Which means “my struggle”

Did you see this? This was in verse 8.

Rachel says, “I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won”

Okay, this is pure insanity, on like 10 different levels

First of all, Dan & Naphtali aren’t even your kids, Rachel!

Second of all, there are only 2 of them, not 4.

If this is really the Baby Wars, I’m not sure how you’ve “won”

And thirdly, when you get to the point where you’re openly naming your kids after something you want, you’ve lost your mind

Children don’t exist for their parents

Okay, but, Leah, isn’t going to stoop to this level though, right?

Nope, Leah’s going to jump right in. Watch this

Genesis 30:9-13

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(Genesis 30:9-13) – NIV

9 When Leah saw that she had stopped having children, she took her servant Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as a wife. 10 Leah’s servant Zilpah bore Jacob a son. 11 Then Leah said, “What good fortune!”[h] So she named him Gad.[i]
12 Leah’s servant Zilpah bore Jacob a second son. 13 Then Leah said, “How happy I am! The women will call me happy.” So she named him Asher.[j]

(Naphtali)

Remember, after Leah’s 4th child, Judah, she was praising God for His goodness, and Leah seemed to find contentment.

But then her sister Rachel started making a comeback in the “baby wars” by having children through her servant, and that makes Leah nervous.

So she says, “Two can play this game!”

And she gives HER servant, Zilpah, to Jacob also as a second-class wife.

And Zilpah deliver’s:

Gad

Which means “a troop is coming”

This is like a throwdown.

Leah is saying to Rachel, “Look out! Now we’re going to have lots of kids on my side!”

But Zilpah only has one more, and Leah names him:

Asher

Which means happy.

But why is Leah happy?

It says, “The women will call me happy”

It’s not that I have made God happy, but the other women will be impressed because of how I’m winning the baby wars.

Not crazy enough for you yet?

There’s more

Genesis 30:14-21

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(Genesis 30:14-21) – NIV

14 During wheat harvest, Reuben went out into the fields and found some mandrake plants, which he brought to his mother Leah. Rachel said to Leah, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.”
15 But she said to her, “Wasn’t it enough that you took away my husband? Will you take my son’s mandrakes too?”
“Very well,” Rachel said, “he can sleep with you tonight in return for your son’s mandrakes.”
16 So when Jacob came in from the fields that evening, Leah went out to meet him. “You must sleep with me,” she said. “I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes.” So he slept with her that night.
17 God listened to Leah, and she became pregnant and bore Jacob a fifth son. 18 Then Leah said, “God has rewarded me for giving my servant to my husband.” So she named him Issachar.[f]
19 Leah conceived again and bore Jacob a sixth son. 20 Then Leah said, “God has presented me with a precious gift. This time my husband will treat me with honor, because I have borne him six sons.” So she named him Zebulun.[g]
21 Some time later she gave birth to a daughter and named her Dinah.

(Asher)

Okay, first of all, what was up with those mandrakes?

Mandrakes were a mediterranean plant that had bluish flowers in the winter, and like a yellowish plum-sized fruit in the summer.

And the ancients believed that mandrakes both heightened sexual desire and helped women conceive

And so Rachel (who hasn’t had any kids of her own) wants to get her hands on those “fertility drugs” (which is how she would’ve thought of them

So she says that Leah can sleep with Jacob (because apparently that wasn’t happening much anymore)

As long as Rachel gets those “mandrake fertility drugs” to help her get pregnant.

But it doesn’t work for Rachel, and instead, Leah gets pregnant AGAIN, and has a 5th son!

His name is Issachar

Which means reward.

She thinks God is rewarding her

And then Leah has a 6th and final son named Zebulun

Which means honor.

In verse 20, Leah says, “This time my husband will treat me with honor, because I have borne him 6 sons!

And her sister Rachel has 0.

But then, God in His mercy for sinners, remembers Rachel too

Genesis 30:22-24

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(Genesis 30:22-24) – NIV

22 Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and enabled her to conceive. 23 She became pregnant and gave birth to a son and said, “God has taken away my disgrace.” 24 She named him Joseph,[h] and said, “May the Lord add to me another son.”

So Rachel has baby Joseph, who will have the quite the legendary life.

But look at what even his name means!

It means “May He (God) add” (may God give me MORE babies!)

These sisters are like addicted to competing w/ each other! It’s unreal

And eventually, years later Rachel has one more son, the last of Jacob’s sons, Benjamin.

And we’ll talk about his name in a little bit

And these 12 sons, my friends, are the beginning of the 12 tribes of Israel, as we’ll see later this summer that God is going to change Jacob’s name to Israel

Now, Levi will eventually becoming a priestly tribe with no land allotment and the tribe Joseph will split into two, after his two sons (Ephraim & Manasseh)

But this is how the tribes of Israel began…in sin, envy, & chaos 😊

And listen, if God used this family to change the world, He can certainly use yours.

COMPETITION AND JEALOUSY AMONGST SIBLINGS CAN BE PARTICULARLY DAMAGING

To me, this is one of the crazier chapters of the Bible.

And yet, you don’t really see the chaos until you start really studying it

Otherwise, it can read almost like a boring genealogy

But it’s anything but boring.

So what do we do with a chapter like this?

TWO LESSONS FROM THE FALLOUT OF THE BABY WARS:

#1: Competition and jealousy amongst siblings can be particularly damaging

I want to give you two lessons from the fallout of what we’ve called “The Baby Wars”

#1: Competition and jealousy amongst siblings can be particularly damaging

Look at the deeper motives of these sisters and how they are driven by envy.

What does Leah want?

She wants what Rachel has!

Leah doesn’t even actually want children, but she wants her husband’s love & affection (like Rachel has)

What does Rachel want? (Because she already has her husband’s love & affection)

Rachel wants what Leah has!

She thinks, if I could just have CHILDREN like Leah has (and hopefully MORE children than her), then, I would be happy!

And siblings (especially) are prone to fall into this sort of faulty thinking:

They think,

“If I just was better looking like my oldest sibling, I’d be happy.”

“If I was smarter like our middle sibling”

“If I just could make friends like our youngest sibling”

We pick the things we don’t have (but our siblings do have), and we say, “If I only had that, I’d be happy”

And it’s usually not any different than Rachel & Leah

And to the parents in the room, and the many future parents…

When or if you raise kids someday, you want to do what you can to lessen sibling rivalry

As the famous Teddy Roosevelt quotes goes, “Comparison is the thief of joy”

So, even at a young age, when you hear your kids start engaging in comparison, and say,

“I wish I could throw a baseball like Noah”

“I wish I could do well on tests like Olivia”

You want to address that right away.

Otherwise, it will grow, and it can rob them, not only of their own joy, but of their future friendship and relationship with their siblings.

You want to say, “Listen, God has made you with your own unique giftings, and they are wonderful, and beautiful, and God has a plan for them!

YOUR DEEPEST JOY CAN’T COME FROM NATURAL THINGS

And there is a second lesson I want to show you from this passage

TWO LESSONS FROM THE FALLOUT OF THE BABY WARS:

#1: Competition and jealousy amongst siblings can be particularly damaging

#2: Your deepest joy can’t come from natural things

Think about it:

Jacob felt like, “As long as I can marry the beautiful girl (Rachel), then I’ll be happy”

Leah felt like, “As long as I can get my husband to love me, I’ll be content”

Rachel felt like, “As long as I can have children, then I’ll be happy”

But notice, even when some of them start getting what they want, it’s not enough.

I’ve long said that the clearest example of this principle played out are celebrities and influencers

They are some of the most miserable people on the planet

Because (unlike a lot of us) they’ve actually gotten what they wanted, but it doesn’t satisfy deeply in the way they thought it would.

And that’s because of this important principle on the screen: Your deepest joy cannot come from natural things (earthly things, non-spiritual things)

And I pray you learn this now.

Because Rachel & Leah didn’t get it

Leah has her first child, Reuben, and says, “See, a son! A firstborn son!” Now, Jacob will love me!”

Then she says, “But after the 2nd one, he’ll love me, after the third one, surely.”

Even after her SIXTH biological son, Zebulun, she’s still saying, “This TIME my husband will treat me with honor”

And listen, I feel like so many of us do the exact same thing.

When one dating relationship (or even marriage) left us feeling empty, we think the next one will fill us up! Or the next!

You say, “I wasn’t happy making 60k, but at 70k, 80k, 100k!”

Or people do this with work all the time.

That job didn’t make me happy, but it was because of my boss

And the next job didn’t do it, well because the company had a staff culture

And the next one, well, it was because of the commute…

We’re like Leah, we keep having “sons” thinking that the next one is going to satisfy our heartlongings.

But it doesn’t, and it won’t.

And searching for the deepest joys of life amongst natural things can be particularly painful when you try and get it from your family.

Because if you build your life on your spouse, you’ll just become codependent, or controlling, or endlessly disappointed”

Or similarly, if you build your life on your children, you’ll either try to control every aspect of their life and schedule, or you’ll be crushed when they don’t turn out perfect.

Or you’ll be ruined if they grow up and don’t want anything to do with you (because you’re still trying to control them) because your identity is wrapped up in mining joy from your family.

Rachel is actually a story of tragic irony in the Bible.

She spent most of her adult life trying to find her identity in having kids.

She got so obsessed with it, that it killed her, literally.

She died in childbirth, giving birth to Benjamin.

And she actually named him Ben-Oni, which means, “Son of my trouble”

Her trouble (ultimately her death) was her idol, her children.

Jacob then later renames him to just Benjamin (son of my right hand)

Timothy Keller, in his classic sermon on this text says that this is such a fascinating and important chapter in the Bible because God’s Word is showing you that God is against you building the main purpose of your life around being married, having kids, and having them all grow up to be wonderful.

The main point of this passage is that the deepest longings of our hearts can never be met by getting married, or having a child, or a perfect family…

The deepest longings of your heart can only be met by God.

So seek Him out above everything else.

Let’s pray.