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LATEST MESSAGE

The Realities of Reconciliation

David Sorn

Aug 23, 2026

Jacob & Esau finally meet again, attempt to reconcile, but find reconciliation powerful but difficult.

Genesis 33:1-20

MESSAGE TRANSCRIPT

  1. THE AMAZING STORY OF OUR 3RD LOCATION
    1. (Next Location Announcement Slide)
    2. Good morning! My name is David Sorn, and I’m the Lead Pastor of Renovation Church.
      1. Well, just 4.5 months ago, we officially opened our 2nd location in Shoreview.
        1. They have the same values & ministry programs as us, but Live Teaching on site.
          1. And things are going great there as they have a few hundred people and are already reaching people for Christ and discipling them.
            1. But, I promised you last week that I would give you all the details on our 3rd location, so here we go! 😊
    3. As many of you know, we brought on Pastor Nate Gusafson to be the location pastor for our 3rd location back in January,
      1. …and not long after that we started looking at possible locations (to the North) for our 3rd location.
        1. And let me tell you, we looked at every school, open building, and warehouse. If you can think of it, we looked at it.
          1. …And we got told no, no, no thank you, no way, no, no, and no.
        2. And it just felt like we were just out of options.
          1. And about when I was looking up at God and saying, “What in the world are we supposed to do here?”
            1. I got a phone call from someone who knew we were basically out of options, and he said:
              1. “I know you want to go north, and there are a lot of people north of you who need a church like this”
              2. “So I’ve been thinking and praying, ‘What if I just bought land, and I built a brand-new multi-tenant commercial building, and then leased most of it to the church?”
          2. And I was like, “Are you serious right now?”
            1. And he said, “yeah, I really feel like God is prompting me to do this.”
        3. And so he began to look for land, and then eventually, he bought land, and we’ve spent the past 4 months or so going to Planning Commission and City Council meetings trying to get approval to see this building go up.
          1. And as of a little over week ago, final approval was given and the land was closed upon…and this is gonna happen!
    4. So where is this?!?!
      1. Let me just tell you…it’s amazing. Absolutely incredible!
      2. (Show Map).
        1. This building is going to be going up on highway 65, just north of the Ham Lake / East Bethel border.
          1. It’s about 3 blocks into East Bethel.
            1. Just south of the Emagine Movie Theatre if you know where that is.
      3. And when I say this area is perfect…I mean it’s perfect…
        1. 30,000 cars pass by there on 65 every day…
        2. …and this area is RIPE for the gospel.
          1. There are currently 5 churches in East Bethel, and the attendance of those 5 churches adds up to 400.
            1. There are 15,000 people who live in East Bethel! With 400 people in churches there.
        3. Immediately West of East Bethel is Oak Grove.
          1. There are only 2 protestant churches in Oak Grove…whose attendance adds up to 200
            1. There are 10,000 people who live in Oak Grove.
          2. That’s 25,000 people with less than 1,000 people in church.
            1. These cities need 10 new churches honestly.
              1. This is one of the least-churched areas of the entire state of MN…so we’re going to be disciples that make disciples that make disciples
    5. Okay, when is it starting?
      1. Construction is starting in 3 weeks
        1. And we are hoping to occupy the building sometime in March or so.
      2. However, we will be asking people to join the launch team for East Bethel in early November (you’ll still be here for a couple months after that),
        1. …but we want to start to assemble the team and start gathering leaders, volunteers, and getting that East bethel Launch Team together on some evenings, so you can get trained and get to know each other.
          1. And so since we’re only about 2 months away from that, you can start praying about it now.
            1. Our goal is to send over 300 of you to that new location.
    6. And it’s going to be a HUGE blessing.
      1. Having 24/7 space is a game-changer.
        1. It allows us to be seen in the city.
        2. It allows us to have a Youth Group that meets on site.
        3. Summer Bible classes on site.
        4. House Church childcare on site…and so much more.
          1. It’s incredible!
      2. We are SOOO thankful to God and to the generosity of his people to make this happen!
        1. Let’s just praise God right now
  2. INTRODUCTION
    1. All right, let’s jump into our Bible teaching for this morning.
    2. Genesis 33:1-3
    3. Page 24
      1. We are continuing in our Life of Jacob series.
        1. Before we get to our passage today, I should mention that even though we’re ending our series in Chapter 35 next week, Jacob’s story technically continues on in Genesis 37-50.
          1. However, the narrative then becomes about “the Life of Joseph” and Jacob becomes a very minor background figure.
            1. So, we will get to Joseph maybe next summer, or the year after or two, and I guess you can just call that Jacob part 2 if you need to.
    4. But today is our penultimate, our 2nd to last, week in our official “Life of Jacob” series!
      1. And in some ways, almost the whole series has been leading up to today’s message.
        1. We started off the summer with Jacob deceiving (for that is what his name means) his twin brother Esau…
          1. …And Jacob stole his birthright and blessing.
        2. Then Esau wants to kill Jacob, so Jacob flees northward to work for his uncle Laban.
          1. And he spent 20 years up there, starting a family and also prospering financially.
        3. But now, God has called him to come back home.
      2. And two weeks ago, if you were here when we covered the first part of chapter 32, where the 2 brothers were close to meeting, but Esau was seen coming with 400 men.
        1. So Jacob freaks out, cries out to God, and starts sending gifts of animals to Esau.
          1. And last week, in the midst of his fear, we saw Jacob encounter & wrestle with God
    5. But, today, we’re going to get to what we’ve been heading towards for a long time, Jacob and Esau, the estranged twin brothers, are going to meet for the first time in 20 years.
      1. Let’s start reading!
    6. (Genesis 33:1-3) – NIV
    7. Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two female servants. 2 He put the female servants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear. 3 He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother.
      1. (The Realities of Reconciliation)
      2. We’ve spent a lot of this summer talking about messy families, but today, we’re going to get a passage on reconciliation.
        1. And it is not going to go perfectly.
          1. This is not a how-to-manual on how Christians should reconcile.
            1. Narrative in the Bible rarely works like that.
        2. But we do see an example of it here, and so there are indeed still principles we can draw from it.
          1. Because God may indeed be calling some of us to reconcile with an old friend, or with a family member.
            1. And when I say “reconcile,” I mean to forgive one another, and restore, at least some part of your friendship or relationship
    8. So the first thing we see is this.
      1. THINGS TO REMEMBER IN RECONCILIATION
      2. #1: God calls us to initiate reconciliation
        1. Remember, it is God that called Jacob back home with his family to the promised land.
          1. God wanted this reconciliation to happen.
            1. That’s ultimately why Jacob is doing the hard work here to try and reconcile with his brother.
    9. And this truth is developed even further in the New Testament through Christ
      1. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19) – NIV
      2. All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.
        1. There is a lot in there, but Paul is saying that if God reconciled (made your relationship with Him right) by not counting your sins against you…
          1. …then you should reconcile with others and not count their sins against them.
        2. We also see this principle in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6
          1. Jesus tells us to pray by saying:
            1. Forgive us our debts (sins), as we forgive those who’ve sinned against us.
      3. In fact, in that same Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says:
        1. (Matthew 5:23-24) - NIV
        2. Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
          1. So think about these challenging words from Jesus!
            1. He’s saying, “If you’re sitting in church this morning, singing praise, offering your finances to the Lord…and it hits you, “I made my brother upset last night… my sister, my friend is still mad at me from 2 years ago…”
              1. Jesus says, “You actually should leave your seat right now, and go make it right with them first”
          2. Why?
            1. Because if you’re sitting here singing, “Thank you God for your amazing grace!”
              1. But you can’t give that grace to someone else, or accept it from someone else…
                1. …Jesus is saying, “You haven’t gotten it yet”
                  1. So first go reconcile with your friends, your family members.
                  2. Even if it’s been 20 years…
                  3. Because remember, 20 years wasn’t too late for Jacob & Esau
  3. HUMBLE YOURSELF
    1. Let’s keep reading some more of the passage, but I want to start with reading verse 3 again
    2. Genesis 33:3-7
    3. Page 24
  4. (Genesis 33:3-7) – NIV
  5. 3 He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother.
    4 But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept. 5 Then Esau looked up and saw the women and children. “Who are these with you?” he asked.
    Jacob answered, “They are the children God has graciously given your servant.”
    6 Then the female servants and their children approached and bowed down. 7 Next, Leah and her children came and bowed down. Last of all came Joseph and Rachel, and they too bowed down.
    1. Look at what Jacob does here…
      1. The Bible says he, takes a sacrificial risk, and he moves from the back of the pack to out in front of the pack now.
      2. And then he bows to the ground in front of Esau…7 times!
        1. In the Ancient Near East, this is how one would often approach a tribal king.
      3. Jacob is showing significant humility.
        1. THINGS TO REMEMBER IN RECONCILIATION
        2. #1: God calls us to initiate reconciliation
        3. #2: We must reconcile in full humility
        4. Think about it: Even though Jacob is quite wealthy now, powerful, and even got the blessing of the covenant (he’s now technically the firstborn)
          1. But Jacob knows that if he’s going to have any chance of reconciling his relationship with his brother, he’s going to need to come in with a humble posture.
  6. And the same is true if you are going to reconcile with a family member you haven’t spoken to in a long time, or an old friend or coworker where words were said, and you left with things not right.
    1. You have to come in with humility.
      1. This is true even if you are just simply trying to apologize to someone about something much smaller.
        1. I’ve given a training a few times on “How to apologize” and in one of the steps about taking responsibility it says:
          1. Never add a “BUT” to your apology
            1. You can use this this week.
            2. Don’t say,
              1. “I’m sorry I didn’t do what you asked, BUT I was just so busy”
              2. “I’m sorry I raised my voice, BUT you never listen”
                1. That’s not an apology.
              3. Never add a “BUT” to your apology
            3. By the way, if you want the Training Guide on “How to Apologize,” you can pick a copy of those 6 steps at our Welcome Table today on the way out.
    2. So Jacob comes in with humility (no “buts)
      1. He bows 7 times
        1. And in his humility, God blesses him.
          1. Esau runs to him, throws his arms around him, and weeps
            1. It’s much like the prodigal son story in Luke 15.
      2. And there is a Biblical principle playing out here
        1. Jesus says
        2. (Luke 14:11) – NIV
        3. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
  7. So when you’re going to make things right with your friend or family member (and there is nothing easy or simple about that)…you want to come in full humility
    1. You apologize (no buts), you confess, you own what you can.
      1. Start there.
    2. Now, what’s interesting is that we don’t actually see Jacob confess his sin to Esau.
      1. That doesn’t mean, necessarily, that he never did, but it’s not in the text.
        1. But this, like I said, may not be a textbook manual on reconciliation.
          1. Like most of us, I suspect, Jacob is not doing it perfectly.
            1. But the point is, he’s trying, okay?! 😊
  8. And maybe you’re thinking, “But my situation is so unique. What about a, or b, or c?”
    1. This is where being in a House Church once sign-ups start next month is SO important. It’s the other half of church.
      1. This (the teaching of the Word) and worship is important, but you need real people in your life (other wise Christians) that you can ask these questions to.
        1. It will be such a blessing to you.
      2. So we want all of you to sign up for a house church when signups start in a few weeks!
  9. MAKE NECESSARY CHANGES OR RESTITUTION
    1. Okay, let’s keep reading.
    2. Genesis 33:8-11
    3. Page 24
  10. (Genesis 33:8-11) – NIV
  11. 8 Esau asked, “What’s the meaning of all these flocks and herds I met?”
    “To find favor in your eyes, my lord,” he said.
    9 But Esau said, “I already have plenty, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself.”
    10 “No, please!” said Jacob. “If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably. 11 Please accept the present that was brought to you, for God has been gracious to me and I have all I need.” And because Jacob insisted, Esau accepted it.
    1. (The Realities of Reconciliation)
    2. What is Jacob doing here?
      1. He sent all of those flocks and herds to Esau as a way to say sorry for what he stole (Esau’s birthright and blessing)
        1. Giving the gifts was Jacob’s way of saying sorry, and when Esau actually accepted the gifts, it was his way of accepting Jacob’s apology.
    3. And this is a 3rd thing I want you to remember when you are reconciling with someone:
      1. THINGS TO REMEMBER IN RECONCILIATION
      2. #1: God calls us to initiate reconciliation
      3. #2: We must reconcile in full humility
      4. #3: Make necessary changes or restitution
        1. Many times, it’s not enough to just say you’re sorry, we actually have to change.
          1. In the Bible, this is called repentance.
        2. So it’s not enough to just say, “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you first before I spent money on that?”
          1. It may be the 5th time it happened, so how will you change?
        3. It’s not enough to just say, “I’m sorry I left you completely hanging on that one…I’m sorry I texted that person you asked me not to text”
          1. Sometimes sorry isn’t enough.
            1. You have to change if full reconciliation is ever going to happen.
      5. And sometimes, if we’re the ones who have done something wrong, making restitution (restoring what you previously took or damaged) is necessary (that’s, in part, what Jacob is doing here w/ the animals…for stealing Esau’s birthright)
        1. It’s also what we see Zacchaeus doing in Luke 19 in the Bible
          1. Zacchaeus was a thieving tax collector, but when he experiences forgiveness from Jesus, he goes as far as saying he’ll pay back anyone he stole from FOUR times the amount he stole!
  12. So as you think and pray about reconciling with someone this week, also pray and think through what changes you need to make, and if there is anything you need to pay back (monetarily or relationally)?
  13. RELEASE THE OUTCOME
    1. Let’s keep reading
    2. Genesis 33:12-20
    3. Page 24
    5. (Genesis 33:12-20) – NIV
    6. 12 Then Esau said, “Let us be on our way; I’ll accompany you.”
      13 But Jacob said to him, “My lord knows that the children are tender and that I must care for the ewes and cows that are nursing their young. If they are driven hard just one day, all the animals will die. 14 So let my lord go on ahead of his servant, while I move along slowly at the pace of the flocks and herds before me and the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir.”
      15 Esau said, “Then let me leave some of my men with you.”
      “But why do that?” Jacob asked. “Just let me find favor in the eyes of my lord.”
      16 So that day Esau started on his way back to Seir. 17 Jacob, however, went to Sukkoth, where he built a place for himself and made shelters for his livestock. That is why the place is called Sukkoth.
      18 After Jacob came from Paddan Aram, he arrived safely at the city of Shechem in Canaan and camped within sight of the city. 19 For a hundred pieces of silver, he bought from the sons of Hamor, the father of Shechem, the plot of ground where he pitched his tent. 20 There he set up an altar and called it El Elohe Israel.
      1. (The Realities of Reconciliation)
      2. So Jacob and Esau have this great moment of reconciliation, and they hug it out after 20 years apart.
        1. But then Esau says, “Why don’t you come down to my place in Seer?”
          1. Jacob says, “Sure! But I’ll be right behind you bro!”
            1. But then Jacob ends up just going a different way.
              1. And we don’t really see them together again until their father Isaac’s funeral.
      3. So why is this happening? Why did Jacob do this?
        1. I think it’s a little bit of everything.
          1. Jacob has still got a little bit of his old self in him.
            1. At minimum, he shouldn’t have lied…and said he was following after Esau.
        2. But, the truth is, they still don’t fully trust each other.
          1. They have forgiven each other, but there is a long way to go.
            1. And that, my friend, is closer to what the realities of reconciliation often tend to look like.
              1. Reconciliation is hard. Sometimes it’s just awkward like this. 2 steps forward, 1 step back
          2. Rarely, will you just forgive someone (or be forgiven), hug it out, and then be best friends again like old times.
            1. It often takes a long time to make things right again, or regain trust.
              1. And sometimes, that might not be possible.
      4. So this is the 4th thing to remember:
        1. THINGS TO REMEMBER IN RECONCILIATION
        2. #1: God calls us to initiate reconciliation
        3. #2: We must reconcile in full humility
        4. #3: Make necessary changes or restitution
        5. #4: Release the outcome
          1. Ultimately, the only thing you can control is that you tried to reconcile and ask for forgiveness (or offered forgiveness)
            1. You can’t control the response of the other person.
              1. Just like Jacob & Esau couldn’t control what the other did.
      5. Paul puts it this way in Romans 12:
        1. (Romans 12:18) – NIV
        2. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
          1. That’s a really important verse.
            1. You should do whatever you can to live in peace with everyone.
              1. But Paul says, you can only do what you can do (as far it depends on you)
            2. And so ultimately, you have to release (let go) of the final outcome.
        3. But we are to look differently from the world.
          1. We are to offer forgiveness and reconciliation where the world would just burn bridges.
            1. Because that’s what our God did for us.
              1. Even when we deserved to be cut off (the bridge burned), he offered us reconciliation, and sent his Son Jesus for us.
                1. Let me pray
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